Sometimes in life our biggest saboteur can be ourselves and our own beliefs that lie hidden within us but weâ€™re not so aware of.
From getting the right job, to improving the relationship weâ€™ve got, to being stuck in a rut, we can constantly undermine ourselves and impede our forward progress into getting our needs met and having the life we want.
One of the questions I as a life coach can ask is how you might get in your own way.
When people hear this first it can sound a bit strange, but given some time to think about it, we can all come up with habits or ways of being that we use constantly that can hold us back.
For example some people will say: â€œWell I constantly put myself downâ€, or â€œI donâ€™t like authorityâ€, or â€œI tend to say no to things all the timeâ€.
There are so many ways that we can get in our own way and Iâ€™m sure as youâ€™re reading this you can think of some ways you get in your own way.
Fear: often times, fear is a more powerful motivator than anything else.
When weâ€™re afraid, of either failure or of success, we devise strategies to get in our own way.
Itâ€™s strange to think it, but a lot of us can be afraid of success because of all that comes with it, what will be expected of us and not being sure if we can handle it.
Fear underlies most things that hold us back in life including a fear of rejection, which can hold us back from entering relationships or applying for certain jobs etc. Some of us will self sabotage rather than face up to fear.
Whatâ€™s the answer? Well, ultimately to feel the fear and do it anyway, which I know is easier said than done but it beats the alternative.
Stress: a lot of people are busy doing more with less these days. Too often, getting the right sleep, eating right or just generally taking good care of ourselves get sidelined.
When weâ€™re stressed, our tolerance thresholds are lower, and weâ€™re more immune to poor mental health, anger, interpersonal conflict, physical ailment and even making bad decisions. Keeping a positive outlook and good mental health are ways you can promote yourself, and not get in your own way.
Not finding resources or support: the world is interconnected, and there are things you canâ€™t do alone. If youâ€™re inclined to not asking for help from others, it may be hurting you.
Everyone needs help. Whether you need to find better ways to network with others for professional purposes, need counseling for a personal problem, or want to start dating again and need some help, asking for help is the key.
Falling into acts of anger: anger in and of itself is not harmful â€“ itâ€™s what you do with it that creates problems.
Usually, we fall into anger and end up reacting, whether itâ€™s alienating friends or family, or getting angry on the job, anger is a force that, if left uncontrolled, can leave us undermining our own chances of success.
We are responsible for our own lives and the things that surround us. Our actions reflect what we want for ourselves and what we feel we deserve so by having a look at what we are repeatedly doing and how we might be holding ourselves back, we can get out of our own way and move on!
Contact Glen Johnson life and business coach on Facebook. International Coaching Week takes place from May 20 - 26 in 2013.